Having a random hookup so left but love u
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
