...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
