I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
