There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
