I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
