dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
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Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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