I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
