No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
