I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
