I'm going to jail i love you
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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