The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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