The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
