Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So many bounce houses so little time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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