the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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