...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
