Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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