so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize