I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
