I don't think brook has ever known best
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
