How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
