So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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