Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
