Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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