Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
