used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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