Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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