Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers