TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
