Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
