im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
