I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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