shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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