I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
