check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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