Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
