do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
