He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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