Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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