There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize