Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
