No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My bed smells like the plague
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize