I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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