dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
