Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
