I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize