I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Success! We fucked roommates!
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