I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
