He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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