He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
