I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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