"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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