he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
