Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
