nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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