I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
