Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Please don't give away my fajitas
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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