good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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