i think my mom watched the whole time
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
