I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
