Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize