tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize