Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
