I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
