I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize