i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
