While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
