oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think my moral compass just broke
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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