normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
